I Wonder If You Always Tell The Truth

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Already Dated

Unrelenting clocks
Almost mutely
Ticking and tocking
Picking and progressing
Towards eternity
Unknown constant of life and love
Infinite reminder of expiration
From above
A lifetime measured by minutes
A passage marking everything
Important dates
Already dated
Forgotten why you hated
Held a grudge
All the crosses on the calendar
Days gone by
So fast and flashing
Unnoticed, so sly
Days of madness, sadness
Of genuine sorrow
When we borrow
A shoulder to cry
Calculated words
Don’t always add up
There is an unexplained hang-up
That won’t allow us to stand up
By ourselves
We need one another
If we are to win out over
The troubles and strife
These mysteries of life
Practising forgiveness
Trying to defeat the ignorance
Of the men who thought it wise
To pry
To not avert his eyes
An unforeseen disguise
Behind closed doors
Concealing all flaws
Does you no good
Can’t tell the trees from wood
Think of all the effort you invested
Mockery of sin
You can’t chose the way you will be tested
It doesn’t come from within
Future begins when you awake each new morning
Internal yearnings
Before uncertain moments
Connections structured
Possibilities unventured
Dreams unmeasured
Into thoughts, sought, conceived
A plan to scale the walls rendered
Secretly knowing
I should never have pretended
To know the ills
Midnight snow spills
Winter’s flow kills
Shades of autumn withdrawn
Fades from orange to white
Souls disperse
Ancient templates of blue across landscapes
Winter begins a freezing descent
I look at my life
Icy intent
The wind so cold
It burns
My heart catches fire
Desire returns
Shadows in the moonlight
Fire in my belly
The night
Endured the plight
Now the future looks bright
For me and for you
I’m next in the queue
A shot at delight
I got to the window
The shutter came down
Sold out read the sign
In despair I turn around
I'd entered the tale
A little too late
Destined to fail
Is this what they mean by
Simple twist of fate
A continuation
Of these melancholic meanderings
Sliding between
Acts of philanthropy
Lost in the depths
Searing misanthropy
Time out to sit
And watch
The silver river
Reflecting the stars
Through the mountains
Healing the scars
The ravages of time
If I walk in the water
I wonder
Will it do the same
For mine?
Too far gone for water to heal me
I need something much stronger
To cover me
Seal me
Guide me through this land
Walk the curve of the rainbow
Carried by magnificent beams
Escape this place
Of forgotten dreams
Northern stars float
Beyond Heaven's lights
The sun, the moon
Shining bright
Reflecting night
And day
Clouds sway
The planets crossed
Our nerves were tingling
Gazing high through this telescope
I feel the touch
That particular touch
Of hope
That extra piece of rope
When you need
A few more feet
To reach
Your goal
With tinges of sadness
Held fast
By hinges of madness
Why must there always
Be a price we must pay
For the possession
Of that refreshing
Moment of gladness
Wanting so much more
Of what has gone before
We know it won't return
But that flame still burns
At birth
When we awake from our slumber
We are given
A number
Between one and ten
It means that then
This is the path we will follow
All our decisions
To which we donate such precision
Are hollow
We live in a world
Of pre-destined tomorrows
All of these motions
These unique emotions
Are felt by everyone else
Adult or child
Weak or wild
They're not much different
Than yourself
Even when we tell ourselves
No one understands
They're always there
At times of despair
To lend a helping hand
To find you
Guide you
To sway you
Persuade you
This is the way to dry land
No more wading
Waters of sorrow
Touched by the warmth
Light of tomorrow
Another day
Another shot
To repay
And take stock
What you've got
What you've earned
What you've bought
What you've burned
In the fire
Lost in the mire
Stumbled upon
A sure-fire plan
To fan the flames of desire
Before they ignite
Grow higher
Put your trust in
Lovers and others
To come to your aid
Offer advice
By which you might be swayed
Or betrayed
Who can you trust
Can't always tell
Though you must
Be wary of those
First to yell
Or sell
Their soul
For a chance at survival
There is no revival
When you lose your 'self'
Thrust into denial
I'll attend your trial
Sit with a smile
Your body shivers
Bottom lip quivers
Up there all alone in the dock
Watching the clock
Time ticks away
You are to blame
You just had to play
The self-destructive game
Ended in shame
Now you're taken
To a place far away
Never again
Be seen by men
Or walk the roads
Where it all began
In the back-streets at night
In the shimmering light
Where you said with a grin
What comes from within
Are lies and meaningless
Where are you now?
Followed your own 'sacred cow'
Condemned to a life of painless
Now as I sit here
Enjoying the show
Were you there with me
Still I don’t know
Or care
To go
Leave this place
Walk out the door
All I see is a blanket of white
Divided by light
Angels in snow
Admiring the majesty
The travesty of tragedy
When the snow melts
And clears
Angels disappear
We’ll meet again
Same time next year
When you left that day
Those words
I heard
You say
Now imprinted on memory
A personal blasphemy
In the shadows of infamy
Through windows of shame
On me
The way I treated her
Of heated words
Fights and fake poses
Heated nights
Pillows of roses
Days of calm amidst the anger
My only wish
They would have lasted longer
I dreamed
About an old friend
Last night
Who might
Have seen you
When you took flight
(Was it a sign?
Should I follow the hunch?
Or will it turn out like
The last banana
In the bunch?
No saving
The grace in
Habits untaught and
He said you spoke
Of times best forgotten
Some paths are often
Best left
Told me you showed him
No obvious emotion
Told me you showed me
Complete lack of devotion
I never showed
Deliberate disregard
Tried hard
To please
To hit the mark
You left in the dark
And lonely night
Never again to catch my sight
All your images
I see
Merely illusion
Brought on by confusion
Recurring unabated
By my stubborn refusal
To see
What I wanted
Was never to be
The silence
Was the soundtrack
To an unfulfilled relationship
Harbouring secrets of mistrust
Under the rug
The yearnings were swept
And kept
To linger
Till you pointed your finger
Showed me the direction
You were taking
I see, on reflection
I was making
A mistake
Tried talking you into staying
Veiled promises
You said were fake
Words so unkind
Said I couldn't relate
To your state
Of mind
Left me
Bereft of my
Soul mate
Out in the distance
Near the place
Where we kissed once
People are playing
Games of existence
Crazy inventions
Camouflaged intentions
Violent acquisitions
Compassionate interventions
Ticking out their timelines
Watching from the sidelines
Take your head from the clouds
For crying out loud
You're the creator
Of your timeline
Flickering scenes
Movies on the silver screen
Into space
By any means
No matter how plausible
Rows of curtains
What's behind them?
Corridors of mirrors
Reflecting your innermost
A thunderous silence
As you drift
Through streets and towns
Asking help from a stranger
An inadvisable distraction
Known for their faceless
Risible reactions
Foreign to these parts
Open to discrimination
Experts in recrimination
If you fight
You'll find
Vivid imagination
Hurling accusations
False allegations
Intruded their habitat
Must deserve this
I'll find a place
On the edge of town
Hide my face
Lay me down
Take a break
From this race
Grow old alone
Never to be found
A street-painter lives next door
The floor
Is his canvas
Using his hands as
To blend
To bond
Colours from his palette
Displaying his talent
For those who pass
And ask
How he does it
He sees inspiration
In the ancient gallery
I showed him your picture
Hanging lonely
In a darkened room
He flicked the switch
'Neath the light of the moon
Recreated your beauty
On the pavement before me
Rhapsody in bloom
Too soon
Tomorrow came
Brought with it the rain
Washed out the portrait
Revealed the pain
For a fleeting moment I had you
Now I've lost you
A sparkling dawn greets me
Fresh-faced child
Comes to meet me
Water from a shell
Offered to me
As I fell
To my knees
An island paradise
I'd arrived on?
Or had I awaken
From some God-forsaken
Women brought flowers
Lost in showers
Of Roses
Instead of the usual
'Maybes' and 'supposes'
This was all too good
To good to be real
I waited for the catch
To reveal
The hatch
Trapdoor to fall into
Unexpected happiness
I'm not akin to
Fond memories
I've had my share
But none exist
When you're not there
You were my world
My one and only
Left me standing
Aching and lonely
Shivering in a dark night of the soul
Under the influence of indecision
Of sin
The division within
Your will to live
Sucks the breath
From your lungs
And gives
A reason
A need to feed on
False compliments
On foreign tongues
Desperation attracts you
Return to attack you
From a distant past
A time virtually unheard of
Only a memory
A time before my sanity was murdered
I still had my heart
I could last a while
If I'm going down
I'm leaving in style
Before alighting
This merry-go-round
In the final hour
They doubled their power
My ship ran aground
Seized my heart
Ripped apart
Now stumbling blind
Till your love-light shines
Come too far
To start
Can only hazard a guess
At what I must do
Start anew
Without you?
Or find your trail
Where the south-wind blew?
Condemned to fail
Or forced
To turn
And run
All said and done
A feeling
Runs through me cold
The end of the road
With the naked eye
The end is nigh
Bridges burn
No chance
Or time to turn
And say
A sigh is the chaser
To your double of dismay, so
Empty your glass
And find
Your pass
To the other side
Another kind of nature
Where she won't hate you
A world
Of perfect understanding
No naming
Or branding
Of unfelt emotions
I know what I feel
I call it devotion
This world
Of permanent daylight
I'll experience no more
Those lonesome nights
The clocks are stuck
Frozen at noon
Holding hands
Like us once more
One day soon
On the shore
Gazing into my future
I know in my soul
I'll never get over her