I Wonder If You Always Tell The Truth

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The Dead Hand Of The Past

Lifeless visions dancing
Blending into silence
The chant of craving
Swirling through perception
Ricocheting into crevices
It brings us
To the edge of the mountain
Waves crashing on the
Rolling sea
Tremors vibrating
The extent of misery
Weathering the face
Warping the features
Of all the creatures
I'd want to meet
Are the one
To stand with alone
In the blank unknown
And hold you
Till the deeds of dawn
Are done
Take the fifth
Don't reveal the myth
My true history
In return for the favour
I'll give you a taste
Something to savour
Any star
Any season
Any scent
Any flavour
Though time is up
No one can deny
I loved you
I needed you
Even after
The last
Hollow voices
Of a fledgling night
Early hours
On the path to delight
The shadows have faded
And the bright
Neon lights
Cracked under the strain
Of competition
It'll will be a full moon
Chasing time on the subway
From car to car
Experiencing the loneliness
Of a solitary
Undiscovered star
Each new destination
A host of
Not-so-innocent temptations
One track mind
On the road to ruin
Always from
Afar looking on
A place where no one sees
What you are doing
Safe distance
Can't hear what you are saying
Shouting, screaming
Or secretly praying
One more chance
The last dance
For me
The arrow flies
Cutting the tension
Opposing forces and
Pointed questions
Indebted to fantasy
Where the dream comes true
A drop of serenity
To dissolve
The hardening insanity
The result of answering
Anonymous questions
I thought were from you
Entered the game
On the losing side
Played out the scenes
Then left
Now I have found a place where
No insults are hurled
Your face
On the flag
I salute
As it's unfurled
A dream of contentment
Just you
And laughter in funny accents
Always told me
It was a wonderful world
The critics
The unnecessary voice
Satire and sarcasm
Their number one choice
Their favoured device
Constant, biting
Where only
Would suffice
Up on the stage
Spotlights aglow
There isn't a sound
As the house-lights come down
Freed from your cage
You're running the show
Since you came around
You're the new starlet in town
Here I sit
Front-row, centre
Can't take my eyes off you
Don't even know if
I'm meant to
The other actors on stage
Can't break this stasis
I hear their voices
Like whispers
But I can't see their faces
When I look into your eyes
I see
Infinite galaxies
Of timeless inspiration
Whose endless wonder
I could eternally plunder
And still never do justice to your
Perfect incarnation
A courage that outweighs
The God's
Collective powers
A touch more refreshing
Than a thousand
Summer showers
A radiance to outshine
The largest
Lotus flower
I tried to practise apathy
For it to end in
I'm not looking for sympathy
Only pleading for
What I thought was right for us
Was only right
For me
Plain clothes detectives
Standing on every corner
Should I step out of line
Even just a fraction
Metal machines
Hiding behind clouds
My every action
I wish I knew
What they were after
Though I wouldn't tell them
Everything I know
That's only because
I got the blues so bad
My heart feels like
Fifties Chicago
There's no such thing
As tragedy
It's too real
For this forgery of
Passive resistance
Too short a distance
To fall
When you hear the call
Luring you
To another
False existence
I mean
Does anyone really mourn
The death of the salesman
(I don't even know how it ends)
Sold you nothing
But an escape
A place to run
But nowhere to
All you needed was a place
For the things you kept
Up tight
A chest for treasured
A trove of historic
A black box to record
That last conversation
Before we parted
Into the night
Even when the darkness surrounds
I know this love will know no bounds
At the end of the bar
Glass in hand
Lips bleeding with
Hysterical laughter
He first came here
Last New Year's Eve
Slipped almost unnoticed
Into that chair
Ever since
That very day
At 6pm
Or sometime just after
The door swings
On it's hinges
Everyone turns
He's standing there
Always looking like he's waiting
For the applause to start
Or maybe stop
Does he think he's some kind of
If he wants it
He can take
That job
Like some drunken
He circles his stool
He nails it everytime
The regulars smile
At this Chaplinesque routine
This tributary Marceaux mime
Downs his double then
Out the door
To return again tomorrow
Just another fading memory for now
As we return to drown our sorrows
As the darkness turns
To morning
Then follows
The subsidence of craving
Run the tape back
In my mind
Of the midnight misbehaving
A muffled goodbye
In stark contrast
To the laughter we shared
Only the week
Before last
Although the blame
Solely with me
I need to know
To see
You feel no pain
Whatever you lose
You'll be better off
It only brought you hurt
Anger, sorrow and doubt
We'll part at this
You go right and I'll go
And maybe we'll meet
On a rising curve
Sometime before
The final swansong
I feel a strange calm
In the breath
Of the howling wind
Trying in vain to
A subtle reassurance
That I haven't
I have
I know it
If only
I'd been afraid to show it
Through the echoes of time
Your voice
A reminder
Of questions asked
Chances passed
Promises broken
A stern shot of reality
Like a prophet standing
At the gateway to eternity
Freezing leaves
Trembling on the sidewalks
Severed from the branch
Their dependent life-force
Vibrating from the toll
Of the midnight bell
Will I spend this night
With you in Heaven
Or alone in Hell
Padre in the pulpit
To the dirty eyes of
His congregation
The subject of the sermon
The sin
In desecration
The words rattle through me
I feel
A sinking of perception
Is he really talking
To me
(How could he know?)
Or is it all a part
Of this deception
Chameleon words
On foreign tongues
Dressed up
In the rags of truth
From what depths
Have they sprung
There's a fire in his eyes
Must be a disguise
The flame
Is not one of passion
In the blink of an eye
The flower blooms
Then dies
Even in tragedy
Must my feelings be
Or suffer the loss
Just because
They're out of fashion
As I step out
From the cover of moonlight
The midday sun
To it's pedestal
Then strikes
Everything in sight
Illuminated from dark
The recesses of my heart
Out in the cold
A shivering salvation
The only way back
A bold
Emotional remuneration
To dissipate mistrust
Compensate for selfish lust
I can only apologize
So many times
Before it loses meaning
Trying to exorcize
The demon inside
That guides
My unwelcome leanings
Thrown together
By a touch of fate
Torn apart
By my mistakes
A silver lining
Of this washed up Saturday night
The forgotten fragments
Of an unfulfilled
Unparalleled height
Once a knight
In shining armour
Promises, promises
He wouldn't harm her
Brittle heart
No defence
Short step
To bitterness
From fragile desire
Splintered, bruised
Torn on the barbed-wire
Tracking back
For the paths I passed
The roads I missed
When the sunrise kissed
The dew of the morning
I ignored the warning
Directed by
The dead hand of the past
And I miscast
In the starring role
Couldn't handle the attention
Lost all control
Words took on a whole
New meaning
Thoughts careening
As sure as the northern axis
Points to Polaris
I'll be present
At the debut screening
This life in pictures
I hoped you wouldn't see it
Recognised the situations
Forced me to admit it
Written for the glory
Talent will bring
No thought about you
Or references there-in
Gone too far to ever
Go back
Head in my hands
As the screen fades to black
The end credits roll
The look on your face
Momentous fury in your eye
Held me in my place
The good times
Carelessly wasted
Thoughts and reminders
Through my memory pacing
Those dreams never went
Where they might have
Most of the words
Better left unsaid
It's how it should be
I now understand
No more endorsing command
Or forcing your hand
The strike of the band
Theme song plays
End credits are rolling
Far away I'll stay
Till I hear you calling
Whispering spies
Snake-eyes in dreamland
We're guided from harm
On the palm
Of the Master's hand
In this world
Where birth
Is only realized by death
And the symmetry
Of the stars
Is enough to take your breath
Away as you glance
From the hypnotic trance
Left wondering
Is this all a cliché?
Just a picture to convey
A meaning to be lost
At the end of the day
Historic repetitions
Written in the wind
A recurrence of souls
Who were saved
Who had sinned
Portraits of loved ones
Dots joined between stars
A memory
To heal the scars
On a canvas of cloud
A moment of recognition
Unique face in the crowd
Prehistoric picture-book
Friends from another time
Now here to stay
Like the immortal cannery dwellers
Of Steinbeck's Monterey
From the mysteries
To be found
In the depths of
The gladness and
The sadness
Of an everlasting
The smile that it brings
Soon to turn hollow
A realization of the
Nothing left to follow
Celestial hierarchy
In their solar array
To fill the hole
A shower of roses for the soul
A spiritual bouquet
The fire in your heart
The steel cold of loneliness
A sensory absence
Eternal elusiveness
A rogue emotion
Of contemplation or dwelling
On the attributes of friends
Their ability to bend
To satisfy your needs
Be responsive
Not go along with
Misgivings or misdeeds
Strong arm to lean on
Shoulder to weep on
Even if their presence
Isn't physical
They'll be there
When you need them
In the reflection of the
And the shadows that it casts
Out in the middle of
An everlasting sea
The thin black outline
Main-sail mast
Treading the blue
Destination unknown
Left port as children
Will return fully grown
Their voyage
An homage
To your first broken heart
Every step a surprise
Don't know where to start
Indecision passes
After a few years on the ocean
Weathering the storms
Like an experienced seaman
No longer will you need
The life-raft to float on
Riding the tides
As you could only once
Dream of
Where once round your mind
Scenarios swirled
Now no danger of sailing
Over the edge
Of the world
The blue of the sky
Reminds me of her eyes
Surveying the sea
Keeping watch over me
Dust covered memories
Eroding the silence
Stealing time unnoticed
In this vanishing dance
In the folds of light
Drifting through the shadows of
An unseen future
Resisting the moments
Of homeless laughter
Words on pages
Expressions on faces
The techniques we master
To adapt to
To capture
The immeasurable, the pleasureable
The yearning, the burning
Of memories so treasureable